Women Of Purpose Spotlight

Growing up, life wasn't always easy, but God was with me and brought me through it all—as He continues to do every day. I was born in 1965. My mom had been married once before she married my dad, and her ex-husband wasn’t very kind. They had a little boy, Ricky, who was found to have cerebral palsy at three months old. His father didn’t stay for long but later returned, and after six years, my mom became pregnant with my sister, Vickie. During that time, her ex-husband’s mistreatment resurfaced, and my mom decided she’d had enough. After they divorced, she raised Ricky and Vickie with help from her family.

When Ricky was an infant, doctors said he would probably never walk and might only live until he was ten years old. He proved them wrong, learning to walk by pushing my sister’s stroller. Years later, when Ricky was about 13 and Vickie was seven, my mom met my dad. They married in 1963, and my dad took on the responsibility of being a stepfather to two kids. Within a year of their marriage, Vickie became ill, and it was discovered that she had a cancerous brain tumor in late 1963 or early 1964. With no MRIs or laser surgeries available, the tumor had to be removed along with portions of her brain. This left Vickie with partial paralysis on her right (dominant) side and blindness in her left eye.

During that time, my mom began experiencing frequent illness. The doctors attributed it to stress and prescribed Valium. They later discovered that she was actually pregnant with me, and what she had been experiencing was morning sickness. I joke that I was a "Valium baby," but thankfully, my mom was taken off the medication immediately, and there were no issues for either of us. Despite the challenges, God had other plans. While the doctors predicted Ricky wouldn’t live past ten and Vickie might only have a year, Ricky lived to 67 years old, and Vickie lived to the age of 68.

My parents have been gone for a while now, and I lost Ricky in 2017 and Vickie in 2023. Growing up with two siblings who had special needs wasn’t easy. I was helping dress my brother by the time I was five years old and often pushed wheelchairs. On top of that, I had to navigate life with two alcoholic parents and often found myself running interference when they argued. My social life wasn’t much easier. Some people I thought were friends would call our home “the retarded house.” At nine years old, I even learned to lean across the back seat of the car to help my mom drive when she was too inebriated to manage. All the while, Vickie would sit in the back seat praying for God to get us home safely. There were countless trials and tribulations.

I’m so thankful that when I was about 15, both my mom and dad gave up alcohol. Life was still challenging, but God was always at work. At 21, I became the guardian of both Ricky and Vickie. I had to find a staffed home for them because I couldn’t provide the level of care they needed. That decision brought its own set of challenges, but once again, God was there. Though it wasn’t easy, the love and peace we shared carried us through.

Ricky was the happiest, funniest guy and had such a deep love for God. Though his speech was difficult to understand for most people, once you got to know him, you realized when he was saying "I bub buu," he was saying, “I love you” to everyone. Vickie, on the other hand, was the kindest, sweetest person I’ve ever known. I called her a “faith bucket” because she was so full of God’s love that being around her made that faith spill over onto you.

Writing this has been hard because of the tears, the love, and the deep sense of missing them. But I know this separation is temporary. They are at peace because they all had Yeshua Messiah in their hearts. One memory that always makes me smile is my mom’s love for frogs and turtles. She had a frog figurine with the acronym F.R.O.G.: Fully Rely on God. Inspired by this, Vickie came up with her own saying. Whenever someone expressed worry, she’d say, “I’d rather be a happy hopper than a worry wart.” Despite all the hardships, her faith was unwavering.

Ricky and Vickie were an inspiration to me, and their legacy of faith continues to guide me. I’d like to leave you with these scriptures:

Romans 5:2-5 (WMB)

[2]...We rejoice in hope of the glory of God. [3] Not only this, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces perseverance; [4] and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; [5] and hope doesn’t disappoint us, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit Who was given to us.

Romans 15:13 (CJB)

[13] May God, the source of hope, fill you completely with joy and shalom (peace) as you continue trusting, so that by the power of the Ruach HaKodesh (Holy Spirit) you may overflow with hope.

Philippians 1:3 (WMB)

[3] I thank my God whenever I remember you.